As the crisp air sets in and amber leaves dance to the ground, something inside us shifts, too. Autumn doesn’t just mark a change in weather—it quietly nudges us inward. Nature begins its ritual of letting go, and with it comes an invitation to pause. To breathe. To sit with what’s hard. And for many of us, that means facing the one thing we’ve spent all year trying to avoid: discomfort.
I used to think discomfort was something to fix, to run from, or at least distract myself from with a never-ending to-do list. But over the past few years, I've learned that discomfort isn’t my enemy. It’s my greatest teacher. If you’re willing to lean in—especially during this reflective season—you might just learn something life-changing, too.
Discomfort Is Not the Villain
Let’s get one thing straight: discomfort isn’t a sign that something’s gone wrong. More often, it’s a sign that something important is shifting.
1. Resistance Is Natural
I once stayed in a job far longer than I should’ve, clinging to a paycheck and a title while my soul wilted a little more each day. I told myself I was being responsible. But the truth? I was afraid. Afraid of uncertainty. Afraid of what might be waiting on the other side. But that nagging discomfort—that tightness in my chest every Sunday night—wasn’t just anxiety. It was a signal. A message that something inside me needed to grow, and I was standing in the way.
2. Discomfort as an Internal Alarm
Think of discomfort as your body and spirit tapping you on the shoulder. Something’s not working. Something needs attention. It might not tell you exactly what to do—but it sure knows when it’s time to stop pretending everything’s fine.
3. The Myth of “Getting Over It”
We’re so quick to try and “move on” from pain. But not every feeling is meant to be solved. Some are meant to be understood. Discomfort isn’t a phase to power through—it’s an experience to listen to.
Growth Often Feels Awful First
You don’t get stronger muscles without soreness. You don’t get deeper insight without a little mental ache. The same goes for emotional growth.
1. The Cringe Before the Clarity
When I first started public speaking, I was a mess. Shaky voice, sweaty hands, full-body panic. But I also knew deep down that I had something to say. That discomfort? It wasn’t a warning—it was a push. Every talk, every fumbled word, moved me one step closer to confidence.
2. Small Steps, Big Shifts
Growth doesn’t always look like some grand, movie-worthy breakthrough. Sometimes it’s a quiet decision to stay present during a hard conversation. Or to show up even when you feel like hiding. These small choices add up—and so does the resilience they build.
3. Choosing Growth on Purpose
It’s tempting to avoid the hard stuff. But what if we started seeing discomfort as part of the process? Not something to escape—but something to use. That tiny shift in mindset changed my life.
Discomfort Is a Compass, Not a Cage
We often interpret discomfort as a stop sign. But more often, it’s a blinking arrow, pointing us toward the next thing we need to face—or embrace.
1. Signals Worth Noticing
For me, discomfort often shows up as restlessness. Like when I’m saying yes to things I should be declining. Or ignoring a creative urge because I’m too busy being “practical.” When I trace that feeling back, it usually leads me to a truth I’ve been avoiding.
2. Boundaries Are Born Here
Many of my boundaries were born in discomfort. The moment I felt overlooked in a friendship. The exhaustion from always being “available.” Those feelings didn’t just show me what hurt—they showed me what needed to change.
3. Conversations That Clarify
Talking to friends about discomfort almost always reveals a shared thread. We’re all wrestling with something. And naming it together often helps make sense of it—like realizing you’ve been carrying a heavy backpack you didn’t even know you could take off.
How to Sit With Discomfort Without Falling Apart
Let’s be real—sitting with hard emotions isn’t easy. But there are ways to do it that don’t leave you wrecked.
1. Name It Without Judging It
The first time I journaled about my anxiety instead of trying to “solve” it, something shifted. I wrote, “I feel trapped, like I’m falling behind.” Just getting that out helped me see the feeling more clearly—and suddenly, it had less power over me.
2. Create Gentle Routines
When discomfort rises, I reach for my comfort rituals: morning tea, walks at sunset, music that calms my breath. These aren’t distractions—they’re grounding. They remind me that I’m safe, even when things feel wobbly.
3. Ask Better Questions
Instead of, “How do I get rid of this feeling?” try:
- What is this trying to show me?
- What needs to shift?
- What am I avoiding?
Often, the answers are already waiting—just under the surface.
What Discomfort Leaves Behind
Here’s the beautiful part: if you stick with discomfort long enough, it often leaves a gift. Not wrapped in a bow, but in wisdom, perspective, and courage.
1. You Learn Who You Really Are
It’s easy to feel confident when life is smooth. But when things fall apart, you discover your capacity. Your grit. Your heart. That’s when your real self emerges.
2. You Get Comfortable With the Unknown
The more you practice sitting with discomfort, the less scary the unknown becomes. I used to need a plan for everything. Now? I’m more okay with not knowing—because I trust that I’ll figure it out.
3. You Become Someone Who Can Hold Space
This might be the biggest gift. When you’ve learned to sit with your own discomfort, you get better at holding space for others. You don’t rush to fix. You simply sit beside them and say, “Me too.”
Let Autumn Be Your Teacher
Fall is full of metaphors—and they’re not just pretty Instagram captions. Nature is modeling something powerful: letting go, slowing down, trusting the process.
1. Trees Don’t Panic
They don’t fight the shedding of their leaves. They don’t cling to what’s dying. They let go. Because they trust what’s coming next. There’s a lesson in that.
2. You Don’t Need to Bloom Right Now
This season might not be about productivity or bold steps forward. It might be about rest. Reflection. Sitting still and watching the sky change colors. That’s growth, too.
3. Your Inner Seasons Matter
Maybe this season is asking you to release an old identity. A story you’ve outgrown. A dream that no longer fits. Whatever it is, honor your inner autumn. Let it teach you what to shed.
Detour Signs!
Here are five soul-level prompts to help you explore your discomfort gently, but meaningfully:
Write a Conversation With Discomfort Give your discomfort a voice. What would it say? What does it want you to notice?
Reframe the Narrative Replace “Why is this happening to me?” with “What door might this be opening for me?”
Create a Comfort Ritual Choose one small daily practice that helps you feel grounded. It can be five minutes, and it can change everything.
Pair Gratitude With Fear When fear shows up, name something you’re thankful for in that moment. It doesn’t erase the fear—but it softens it.
Remember What You’ve Already Overcome Think back to a hard season you got through. What strength carried you then? What part of that strength still lives in you now?
Discomfort Is a Season, Not a Sentence
Discomfort isn’t punishment. It’s part of being human. It stretches us, refines us, and teaches us to listen more deeply to ourselves. So if you’re in a season of unease—don’t rush through it. Don’t numb it. Don’t shrink from it. Sit with it. Breathe with it. Let it speak.
Because on the other side of discomfort is often clarity. Confidence. And a version of you that’s more grounded, more authentic, and more at peace than you ever imagined.
You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to stay present—and trust that even in this season, you’re still growing.
